Tag Archives: enough is enough

Black Friday looms near – Hold To The One

Excerpt from Chapter 22

Yield and remain whole
Bend and remain straight
Be low and become filled
Be worn out and become renewed
Have little and receive
Have much and be confused
Therefore the sages hold to the one as an example for the world
Without flaunting themselves – and so are seen clearly
Without presuming themselves – and so are distinguished
Without praising themselves – and so have merit
Without boasting about themselves – and so are lasting

In the Dixie Taoist Handbook, you are informed of the process for realizing the Tao begins with meditation and the practices of mindfulness. This is to realize self awareness and pay attention. In this way, you can become mindful of your life experience, what you are choosing and how these choices create your destiny. I call to you all to hold to the one.

As we approach the holiday season, you will be challenged in holding the one, to stay present and self aware. Thanksgiving day is one where we can embrace gratitude and share our blessing with each other. There will be a lot to observe and there will be lots to distract us.

This year, try to stay present and mindful of those things that can trigger the ego into choices that do not hold us on our true path. Be mindful of rising drama tensions and emotions and people gather and bring their distractions with them. Be mindful of desire as it overwhelms the senses with sensation seeking. Be mindful of desire as you are overwhelmed by TV ads.

Each year, I use an app on my smart phone to chime every 20 minutes to remind me to wake up and become present. The sound penetrates the distraction and helps me to hold to the one. When the sound of the chime rings (Tibetan singing bowl sound), stop, find your breath, and return to now. Realize where your mind has gone, what you are doing and why. Then take charge of your mind again, and take charge of the power of choice

And most importantly, have the experience. Experience, the sounds, the smells, the wonderful tastes, and best of all, experience each other. When things get crazy, stay present and choose virtue over ignorance. Choose patience, understanding, empathy, humility, compassion and conservation. Be mindful of your stress levels and deal with it effectively. Take walks, sit quietly and listen to music. Read to a child. Play with a pet. Listen to someone as they talk.

Even if you choose to stand in line of a big box store, in the dark, in the cold at 4 am in the morning, you can still be mindful. Perhaps you will even contemplate why you are doing such a thing. This could be a really good learning experience for gaining insight. Perhaps when the sun comes up, it will create a beautiful sunrise. As you stand in line, notice what is going on around you and practice the three treasures. Notice others and use softness to overcome hardness. Be like water and flow around obstacles.

Holidays can be heaven or hell. We have the ability to create either. You can do this if you hold to the one.

Happy Holidays
TDT

Strategy Number 30: Be Independent From The Good Or Bad Opinion Of Others

Become Independent From the Good or Bad Opinion Of Others

The Strategy: Free yourself from the influence of what other people think of you.
Its Application: Sovereignty of self is true power. This is especially true when we can become free from the opinion of others. The true self follows the moderate path of wisdom and virtue. The ego is either striving for acceptance and the good opinion from others or it is striving to avoid the bad opinion from others. Either way, this striving influences the decisions and choices that create one’s destiny. The Tao cultivator works on being free from this ego trait and through virtue (such as the three treasures) will find and keep harmony and balance in a successful life.

Non Virtuous Trait: Dependence on the good opinion of others

Tao Te Ching: Chapter 13

Favor and Disgrace make one fearful
The greatest misfortune is the self
What does “favor and disgrace make one fearful” mean ?
Favor is high, disgrace is low
Having it makes one fearful
Losing it makes one fearful
This is “favor and disgrace makes one fearful”

What does “the greatest misfortune is the the self” mean?
The reason I have great misfortune
Is that I have the self
If I have the self
What misfortune do I have

So one who values the self as the world
Can be given the world
One who loves the self as the world
Can be entrusted with the world</blockquote>

So many of us frivolously use up a lot of energy on the worry of what others are going to think about us. The description “frivolously” is used because this such a self indulgence. This Self of course meaning the ego. When we allow our self esteem to rest on the foundation of what others think we set ourselves up for a lose/lose result. Either way we become dependent on an illusion that cannot be sustained. Those of us whose happiness is placed on what others think will always be disappointed. The ego mind can be become trapped between the seeking the good opinion of others or trying desperately to avoid the bad opinion of others.

The ego is very sensitive to criticism. So that any negative opinion becomes a kind of false truth that can be used to manipulate someone who is living a life dominated by the ego self. For the ego mind, self worth is based on what others think. This will be experienced as “misfortune” and suffering. If we have based our ego self esteem on the good opinion of others, we worry about losing it. If we have not yet gained the good opinion of others, we strive to obtain it. Striving leads to misdirection of destiny and suffering.

Striving is distracted action for ego results. It is a waste of energy thus it is a waste of our most precious resource. Wu Wei is the virtue to follow. Wu Wei is unattached action or action without striving. Dependence upon the good or bad opinion of others sets us up for striving. The Tao cultivator upholds dignity by holding to constancy. Constancy of the true self is the maintaining the balance between spiritual and physical. By following virtue and wisdom, the true self avoids the traps of the ego self and choices are altruistic. The Tao cultivators is upheld in the community because of wisdom and dignity and it happens effortlessly.

Yet we do not have cast out our ego self. It is a part of who we are. As Tao cultivators we seek balance which raises harmony. When we are self aware, that is when we are aware of the ego feelings of seeking that good or bad opinion we can step back, let this striving go and be actualized as the higher self. When we are mindful of ego and observe a state of worry over what the opinion of others might be, we can let go and return to the independence of the true self. In balance we can be aware of those opinion yet not be dominated by them. It can be useful to have a good opinion from others yet, we cannot allow ego place a prerequisite for happiness, fulfillment and self worth on them.

As Tao cultivators we stay connected to others, we are aware of those opinions for what they are worth but not controlled by them. As leaders in our community, we are aware of what other feel and think about us but we would not foreclose what we know to be moral and right. There is a balance to be found in regulating the ego mind and the value we place on what others think. Returning to spirit, we free ourselves of dependency on the good or bad opinion of others.

Balance and Harmony – The Path to True Joy and Fulfillment

Balance, Harmony and Moderation

harmony

Chapters 9, and 18

In the Chapter on Mystic Unity of Virtue we find the Tao Te Ching pointing to balance between the spiritual and physical realms as the “mystic unity”.  Other Chapters go on to guide us further on cultivating balance, harmony, and moderation.

Chapter 9

“Holding a cup and over filling it

Cannot be as good as stopping short

Pounding a blade and sharpening it cannot be kept for long”

Moderation is the path of Balance and Harmony. To the person whose life is grounded purely in the physical aspect, one of always seeking to fulfilling some desire, enough is never enough. Always striving, always needing more, balance is just a platitude and seen as a weakness.

Yet, balance creates harmony. Harmony is the gift we realize when our path is smooth and our life becomes one of calm abiding. To the person who is burned out, sick and tired, peace, harmony and wellness is a pretty big deal. The 9 out of 10 people who are striving for egoic achievement are never satisfied and will never understand this until they hit bottom. When they do hit bottom, the moment of truth is at hand, and the choosing to become at peace through balance and harmony is apparent.

Moderation is the key to unlocking the doorway to source through balance. Overfilling, striving, and pushing against the natural flow of the Tao is the way of ignorance. Being caught up in the egoic path, always striving, always in deep need for some “thing” as a source of fulfillment is distraction. Distraction is the disconnect from our spiritual self and the the Tao.

Balance for the Tao cultivator is being mindful of our steps along our life path and using the wisdom of moderation to enjoy life but not become obsessed with or controlled by desire. Desire fulfillment can be and often is the slippery slope of egoic decline. Yet desire is a part of the living experience. The Tao cultivator learns to balance desire fulfillment through the practice of moderation. We learn when enough is enough. Over Pouring the tea cup is wasteful, messy and non useful affair. Pouring too little is not fulfilling and may generate a sense of being deprived. The feeling of deprivation is fuel for the ego to gain traction to create a sense of longing. Unfulfilled longing can lead to despair. When are self aware we can choose wisdom step by step along the path. We can fulfill desire yet not become attached. We can realize desire, fulfill desire yet not become entangled by desire. As the true self, we must realize that enough is enough. We remain present and have the experience. Rather than cling to the experience we can release it and remain free of the ego trap.

The trap of ego is when we allow our self to become entangled. Entanglement happens when we mistakenly believe that the the fulfillment of a given desire is the source of happiness. When we believe this illusion, it becomes a way of coping. As we experience stress, we may turn to the fulfilling of desire as the source of contentment and happiness. This is the trap. To disentangle one’s self from the trap, one must let go of the attachment to the sensation. You must transcend the idea or notion that true happiness is a material satisfaction. Nothing material last, therefore happiness based on form (material) will not last. Happiness grounded in the spiritual (love) is lasting.

Chapter 18

“… the six relations are not harmonious

there is filial piety and kind affection

The country is in confused chaos

There are loyal ministers.”

Balance and Harmony is a must for good and useful interpersonal relationships. The positive effect of mystic virtue can be realized when balance, harmony, and moderation is an integral aspect of how we relate to others. It is effective on all levels. We all have opportunities for leadership by example. As leaders in government, as company managers, as parents, as siblings as friends and neighbors, we are called to create harmony through balance in our relationships.

These harmonious relationships between people are created by unity with source as the true self. The altruistic path of wisdom that is the creative path of mystic virtue. In team building exercises this has been called “synergy”. The sum is greater than total number of parts. This is accomplished through balance, harmony and moderation. By following the three treasures one can created harmonious relationships.

As mentioned before, this realization and putting into practice requires an ongoing presence of self awareness. Moment by moment along our path, we are mindful of what we are thinking, feeling and doing. Are we self serving the ego or are we serving others with love and compassion.  In all aspects of our culture we can observe the results of individuals and organizations that either practice balance and harmony or the self serving of individual and collective ego.

You might stop and consider your part in society. How would you honestly describe your interpersonal relationships. How might others describe you? Are you one of the 9 of 10 who are self serving and ignorant? Or you the 1 in 10 who people love and cherish and known for your wisdom and compassion? The answer may not be easily revealed, so it takes practice. This is the cultivation that we work on in every moment that we can be self aware.

There are opportunities all around us. We can sense the level of balance by the harmony of flow around us. Are you and those around you feeling tension and anxiety? Or is there a sense of harmony and flow and freedom. Are you an enabler, one who empowers others towards self realization and fulfillment? Or you one who steps on others on your way to “success”. Do you seek or create drama ? Or do you use softness to overcome the hard?

Recently, we all observed an example of how an organization can cease to flow with harmony when we consider the gridlock by our congress in the year 2013. The legislative body of our government, the decision makers who are to be attending our well being as country cease to function in a harmonious way. When enough people become attached to their own egoic view to the point of obstruction, the country begins to experience chaos and disharmony on many levels. As individuals as well as groups, we can become so self absorbed with the material and the emotional, that the self serving becomes a danger to the whole.

Yet when, we can free ourselves from the prison of the purely material and balance our view with a basis of harmony and non self-serving, the prison doors are opened and benevolence is at hand. Balance is a choice. How do we choose? We must be self aware at the moment of choice and let wisdom guide us. Wisdom is the path of the true self. Imbalance through ignorance is the path of ego.

Interpersonal relationship are especially important in families. For it is within families we grow and bond as children. As we grow up, our mental landscape is shaped and conditions by experience. Those who grow in a loving and compassionate family setting thrive and find love and fulfillment as the way of moving through life. Those who grow up in abusive dysfunctional environments may spend all of their adult lives searching for and never finding contentment, fulfillment, peace and harmony. This is not a all or nothing, black and white, reality, there are shades of grey. It is quite possible to change our path, when we become self aware, that is realizing the true self and following the path. The amount of ignorance and suffering in a person’s life can vary by many degrees. Yet we are all offered the chance to be the one in ten, to find true happiness and contentment of the way, … The Tao.

Once again dear reader, your moment of truth is at hand. Can you be self honest and see where you are and which direction you must turn? Are you willing to unclench the gripping fist of ego and allow the open hand of balance and moderation to bring harmony to your life? Can you let go of those attachments of the physical domain and appreciate the spiritual in a balanced way? Can you reach out and open the door to truly fulfilled life?