Tag Archives: the soul

Strategy Number 30: Be Independent From The Good Or Bad Opinion Of Others

Become Independent From the Good or Bad Opinion Of Others

The Strategy: Free yourself from the influence of what other people think of you.
Its Application: Sovereignty of self is true power. This is especially true when we can become free from the opinion of others. The true self follows the moderate path of wisdom and virtue. The ego is either striving for acceptance and the good opinion from others or it is striving to avoid the bad opinion from others. Either way, this striving influences the decisions and choices that create one’s destiny. The Tao cultivator works on being free from this ego trait and through virtue (such as the three treasures) will find and keep harmony and balance in a successful life.

Non Virtuous Trait: Dependence on the good opinion of others

Tao Te Ching: Chapter 13

Favor and Disgrace make one fearful
The greatest misfortune is the self
What does “favor and disgrace make one fearful” mean ?
Favor is high, disgrace is low
Having it makes one fearful
Losing it makes one fearful
This is “favor and disgrace makes one fearful”

What does “the greatest misfortune is the the self” mean?
The reason I have great misfortune
Is that I have the self
If I have the self
What misfortune do I have

So one who values the self as the world
Can be given the world
One who loves the self as the world
Can be entrusted with the world</blockquote>

So many of us frivolously use up a lot of energy on the worry of what others are going to think about us. The description “frivolously” is used because this such a self indulgence. This Self of course meaning the ego. When we allow our self esteem to rest on the foundation of what others think we set ourselves up for a lose/lose result. Either way we become dependent on an illusion that cannot be sustained. Those of us whose happiness is placed on what others think will always be disappointed. The ego mind can be become trapped between the seeking the good opinion of others or trying desperately to avoid the bad opinion of others.

The ego is very sensitive to criticism. So that any negative opinion becomes a kind of false truth that can be used to manipulate someone who is living a life dominated by the ego self. For the ego mind, self worth is based on what others think. This will be experienced as “misfortune” and suffering. If we have based our ego self esteem on the good opinion of others, we worry about losing it. If we have not yet gained the good opinion of others, we strive to obtain it. Striving leads to misdirection of destiny and suffering.

Striving is distracted action for ego results. It is a waste of energy thus it is a waste of our most precious resource. Wu Wei is the virtue to follow. Wu Wei is unattached action or action without striving. Dependence upon the good or bad opinion of others sets us up for striving. The Tao cultivator upholds dignity by holding to constancy. Constancy of the true self is the maintaining the balance between spiritual and physical. By following virtue and wisdom, the true self avoids the traps of the ego self and choices are altruistic. The Tao cultivators is upheld in the community because of wisdom and dignity and it happens effortlessly.

Yet we do not have cast out our ego self. It is a part of who we are. As Tao cultivators we seek balance which raises harmony. When we are self aware, that is when we are aware of the ego feelings of seeking that good or bad opinion we can step back, let this striving go and be actualized as the higher self. When we are mindful of ego and observe a state of worry over what the opinion of others might be, we can let go and return to the independence of the true self. In balance we can be aware of those opinion yet not be dominated by them. It can be useful to have a good opinion from others yet, we cannot allow ego place a prerequisite for happiness, fulfillment and self worth on them.

As Tao cultivators we stay connected to others, we are aware of those opinions for what they are worth but not controlled by them. As leaders in our community, we are aware of what other feel and think about us but we would not foreclose what we know to be moral and right. There is a balance to be found in regulating the ego mind and the value we place on what others think. Returning to spirit, we free ourselves of dependency on the good or bad opinion of others.

To Find Your True Path – Start Here

path through the forest

Your Path Starts Here –

Introduction (from the book: The Dixie Taoist Handbook – How To Find Your True Path, expected Fall 2014)

The Tao Te Ching is much more than a book. It is a path of virtue and wisdom on how to experience life as the true self on the true path. Important Lesson One Lesson number one is that no wisdom, including that of the Tao cannot be followed unless the person is awakened as the true self. The true self is the higher consciousness of self awareness. In each moment we choose which way we step along the path. There is always the choice to follow the true path, the path of virtue or to follow the false path of ego. The intention to follow the true path of the Tao will quickly be lost in distraction if one does not learn to stay awake and pay attention. In each present moment, each now, that choice is available. It is in those moments we create our destiny. We chose the true path or we chose the path of ignorance and suffering. It is very important to realize we should take care and choose our steps as if our life depended on it. We must realize that our life does depend on the choices we make. Our destiny is created in the moment by moment choosing. Each choice is like a seed being planted. Karma, which is known in the west as cause and effect is the result of the seeds being sown. Our choices, our steps along the life path are like the seeds of karma being planted. You will reap what you sew. You can plant seeds of virtue and wisdom or you can plant seeds of ignorance and suffering. The first step is to learn how to wake up and to be mindful (pay close attention) to what we are thinking and how it affects our choices. This is the practice of meditation and mindfulness. Paying attention and choosing wisdom is the most powerful development a human can adopt and learn. This is the true path. The Tao Te Ching contains powerful wisdom, yet it is only effective when implemented. The wisdom is implemented through careful wise choosing in each now. We create our reality, our life path, our circumstances with these often subtle choosings. The Tao cultivator is one that takes great care in constructing their destiny and their life. Lesson number Two is that it is important to learn the ancient wisdoms from a source and teacher who fully understands the teachings. There are many translations available for the Tao Te Ching, and many are incorrect. This is especially important because as mentioned in the previous paragraph, constructing one’s life is often done through subtle choices. Even if a person is self aware and seeking carefully the wisdom, it only takes one mistranslated word to misdirect an understanding. There are no insignificant choices. So it is important to follow a teacher and translated that is accurate as possible. It is important to be able to tie the ancient wisdom to modern day culture and life. I do not explain what the Tao means. I leave that sages like Derek Lin. So I strongly recommend the translated version of the Tao Te Ching that he has written. His book is titled: “Tao Te Ching – Annotated and Explained”. As of this writing Derek offers free classes online each week on in depth understanding of each and every verse. As a Tao cultivator and one who practices humility, you will not hear Derek claim any titles such as master. Yet in my view he is a master of the teachings and I look to him for guidance. I recommend that you also take him on as your Tao guide and teacher. My intention in this book is to help you realize your true self and to assist in application of the wisdom through self awareness along the true path. These words are to help you put together your own book of wisdom. Your own true self handbook for a happy successful life by following the wisdom of the Tao Te Ching. I do not translate nor annotate, that is done by Derek and others. What I intend is to help you cultivate the self awareness necessary to practice the teachings that the Tao Te Ching offers in the present moment. As I mentioned earlier, at first I found the Tao Te Ching, to be enigmatic and hard to comprehend. The Tao Te Ching Annotated and Expanded brought clarity and understanding. Yet as I explored the Tao Te Ching, sometimes it was difficult and tedious to search and find the lesson for the situation at hand. As I explored the book, I began to compile a road map on how to get to the various wisdoms so I could go straight to the lesson I needed when contemplating a problem or situation. This book is written for the beginner to help develop self awareness. Awake and aware one is to use the wisdom found in the Tao to find the true path and experience life as the true self. This book will help the reader get to that wisdom as they encounter the choices of life. As you begin taking charge of your destiny, you will face many opportunities for growth and life cultivation. These opportunities will appear as problems and obstacles to the ego. Yet, when you become present (mindful) the true self will be realized. In that moment seek the wisdom of the Tao. Use this book to find the relevant teaching. Use Derek Lin’s book, “The Tao Te Ching Translated and Annotated” to understand the deep true wisdom of the Tao. In this book Get your ready. Set the intention, make the commitment to practice willpower and self control with wisdom. Wisdom is learning from you past mistakes and not repeating them. Ignorance is repeating the bad habits and mistakes and not learning from them. This increases problems and suffering. Study Section Two and begin to cultivate an understanding of the Tao and the wisdom of the Tao Te Ching. The nature of the Tao is mysterious and can seem enigmatic. Yet with study and practice your experience will open the secret doors. Study the Section on Ego and get to know and realize how this aspect of your mind cause so many problems. Embrace the Section on the True Self. Study and practice how to manage and control the sensation seeking, greedy, self serving ego and discover the power of mystic virtue. Only the true self can make this discovery. Develop your own wise and virtuous strategy by listening and following the guidance of the Tao Te Ching There is only way to find and follow the true self and the true path and that is through meditation and mindfulness. You may want to start a journal of your self discovery. As you learn each new insight, put it in your playbook. Later you may want to refer back to previous experiences to help yourself to not repeat the same mistakes again. Your learning will happen one experience at a time over a life time. Take things slow and steady, turning experience into wisdom. Through meditation in stillness, the knowing will take place and take root. When you are aware of life as it happens, you experience life as it happens. Wisdom is cultivated one experience at a time and destiny is created one path at a time. Find others on this path who understand and support one another in sustaining self awareness and following the Tao. Cultivate your ability of “holding to the one” as it says in the Tao Te Ching. By keeping company on regular basis with others who are cultivating the true path or “The Way” of understanding, you stand a better chance of successfully bringing balance into your daily life. Are you ready to begin the new life? Get a copy of The Tao Te Ching Translated and Annotated by Derek Lin and together with this book begin creating your new destiny. In chapter 64, we are given the wisdom “a journey of a thousand miles begins beneath the feet” Here is your first choice. Here is the first step beneath your feet. The True Path begins here. .

The True Self

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The True Self and the Path of Virtue
Chapter 10

“In holding the soul and embracing the oneness
Can one be steadfast and not straying?”

The chapter on Ego begins with the question “who are you?”
And many people will answer “I am ‘ME’.
The next question is “who is me” ?
This is where many will have to pause and consider. In that chapter on Ego, the discussion centered the me-ism. The thinking me.
This chapter is about guiding you, the reader, towards a deeper more profound identity.
The “me” inside us finds this identity by summarizing the life story, the story of ‘me’ and then goes on to define this ‘me’ with descriptions, roles and labels. The ego ‘me’ is the agent for experiencing the physical realm. Often this is all we know of our self. Yet we can learn to look deeper and realize more.
Me begins to define itself by descriptions such as:
– I am a man or a woman
– I am so many years old
– I belong in this ethnic or racial catagory
– work catagory (I am a doctor, attorney, teacher, plumber sanitation worker etc)
These are all roles, labels and description of the material world. There is a deeper aspect of self and that is the spiritual self. The spiritual self is also known as the authentic self, … the true self.
How do we arrive at this self identifying? We think about it. As we begin to think about this or anything else our identity usually becomes absorbed in the thinking process. The thinking process is a great tool yet too often we dwell in thinking so much that we become distracted. The thinking can and often does become the initiator of suffering. We cannot seem to turn the thinking off and it will drive us crazy. That voice in the head can become a recurring loop which defines reality and perception. When thinking is under complete dominance of the emotional mind, the ego, we begin to experience problems. Problems initiate reaction. Reaction can create more problems.
The alternative is to realize we are not our thoughts. In mindfulness meditation one learns to observe the thinking. Observing is not thinking. It is … well … observing. This begins to help us realize subject (the observer) and object (the observed). By becoming an observer, one can observe thinking. Thus when we become the observer, we are not our thoughts. In this way one can also realize that thinking is a function or mental process.

So who is this observer ? It is not the ego self. It is not that part of “me” that dwells only in the material or physical domain. The ego believes it to be the sole identity because it is the thinking. Philosophers of western thought, such as Descartes, belong in this area of rationalism. What I am describing is Eastern philosophy and spiritual determination that is the source of the material realm. My intent here is not to change your mind if you are dead set in the material realm nor to supercede materialism.
What I would have you understand is that we are in essence, spiritual beings having a physical experience. Just as Quantum Science is a deeper realization than Newtonian Mechanics spirituality or spiritual realization is a transcendence of the physical thinking me. This state of consciousness that is the observer, the knower is the true self. It is consciousness that give order to the undifferentiated chaos to the Tao. (See Chapters on Nature of the Tao).
So rather than to define the self as physical realm and ego identifiers, the true self just is. I is a realization of “I am”. This is just being. Being is consciousness experiencing life in the physical realm
So the question that we might begin to contemplate could be “how do we realize this spiritual beingness”?.
This realization is meditation, that infinite continuum whose doorway stands in the gap between the thoughts. The technique or practice in bringing the attention to this point between thoughts is lesson unto itself and discussed in other chapters. Meditation training is best learned by working with a teacher who can guide you gently, slowly and surely to this state of consciousness.

In this timeless place of stillness we remember or awaken unto the realization that we are spirit and are at one with spirit. This aspect of your-self is the true self. This part of us is that which is unified with The Tao. Through virtue we follow the path of the the Tao. This is The Way.

In holding to our realization as the true self we can embrace the oneness, we can become one with the Tao. Lao Tzu is asking us can we hold to this oneness or will will give over to the ego and thinking? Can we learn to reside in the eternal place between thoughts or will be fall back into desire, materialism and ego self serving. As spiritual entities, the true self is our true nature. Nature is the manifestation of the Tao. The Tao is both emptiness and source. (see nature of the Tao)
We have this temporary experience as a physical being in a realm of material form and we call it life. When we are awake and self aware we experience life. When we are distracted, that is when we are lost to our true self and our spiritual source we live in the world of ego. Yet since we are physical beings, we have our place in the physical realm. Thus we are spiritual beings (conciousness) experiencing (life) in this physical realm. The way (the path of the Tao) is bring balance between the two. Balance brings a very special harmony that is called “mystic virtue”.

Chapter 33
Those who understand others are intelligent
Those who understand themselves are enlightened
Those who overcome others have strength
Those who overcome themselves are powerful

Those who know contentment are wealthy
Those who proceed vigorously have willpower

Those who do not lose their base endure
Those who die but do not perish have longevity

Those who understand their identity as the true self are enlightened. This is clarity of being. The ego seeks intelligence and power, the true self seeks wisdom through virtue and unity with source. We are called to let go of the singular view that we are only a physical being and realize there is more than sensation seeking and fulfilling physical desires. We must apply the wisdom at the spiritual level which requires that we let go of serving the ego (self serving). By orienting your perspective internal, we can be released from the external.
Moment by moment, experience by experience the Tao cultivator brings harmony and balance to life. On the path of enlightenment, we make our mistakes and return to self realization over and over, gaining wisdom and willpower and true contentment. In meditation we cultivate our base as the true self, the spiritual being we are. Mindful of ego, we learn to free ourselves from the chains of desire and material form. In each moment, we can seek unity through virtue or surrender to ego and the path of suffering.

The true self seeks balance and harmony, the ego seeks to feed desire.
The true self practices meditation to strengthen unity with the Tao, the ego seeks distraction.
The true self is grounded in the Three Treasures, the ego is grounded in sensation seeking.
The true self realizes the power of choice, the ego is imprisoned to emotional reaction.
The true self chooses wisdom in awareness, the ego is lost in ignorance only to repeat the same coping and creating suffering.
The true self embraces the Tao, the ego embraces distraction and is lost to source.

The Tao cultivator is the true self awakening and strengthening its awareness, learning how to avoid the pitfalls of ignorance. Self discipline is the true self in charge and guiding the spirit to balance, harmony and enlightenment. Self control is the true self staying above the egoic temptations enjoying life in moderation and wisdom.
The true self uses the unity with the unlimited ultimate source as their base, enduring in the living experience with longevity and well being.